There’s one commonality in many of the couples that I’ve worked with through the years, and that’s the tendency to make assumptions.  I’ve heard so many say, “I just assumed …”  Many times their joint patterns of making assumptions have created a lot of problems for them, and for their relationships!

An important part of emotional intimacy is learning how to communicate so that there’s a shared understanding between both people.  Don’t just assume you know something.  Check it out!  When your partner is talking, do active listening.  Ask questions to be sure that you have understood what’s been said.   If you want or need something, say so.  Don’t assume that your mind is being read!

I’ve been told about so many arguments that began when one person got mad at the other for not “knowing” what was wanted or needed.  I’ve had both men and women say, if they really loved me, they would know.  I shouldn’t have to tell them.  But, that just isn’t true!  You do need to say what you want.  You, also, need to ask your partner to clarify things for you, to avoid misunderstandings.

I promise you that if you both stop making assumptions about the other, life will be much less complicated and frustrating!

Until next time,



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