When we’ve been hurt too many times, we tend to build protective walls around our vulnerable hearts. The more pain we’ve experienced, the stronger we build our walls. It makes sense! But what we construct to keep the pain away, can also shut out the joy.
I work with my clients to build their own internal strengths, so that little by little their need for such big, strong, impenetrable walls starts to diminish. They learn new skills to enable them to stay safe. They begin to see themselves as sturdy enough to handle the inevitable ups and downs of life. It doesn’t mean they don’t feel pain, but they no longer have to hide.
It’s true that when we allow ourselves to open up our hearts, and let others come close, we may risk future losses. People sometimes change over time, and the relationships that seemed so promising, can wind up ending. We might lose loved ones through tragic accidents or terminal illnesses. People might move far away, and we sometimes lose touch. It’s all possible, but the fear of loss can trap us into running away from the potential for joy.
Life is unpredictable. Being brave and facing down our fears, opens the door for joy to find us. For however long it lasts, joy is worthwhile, and brings an undeniable richness to our lives. Please don’t allow yourselves to isolate, and stay trapped behind your protective walls. Break free and reach out to others. Celebrate the joyful possibilities!
Until next time,