Loving and being loved by someone should add an extra dimension of happiness to our lives. Love should never be painful! All too often, though, that is just what takes place. No one deserves to be abused. It doesn’t matter whether it’s physical, verbal, emotional, sexual, or financial. Abuse is never OK in any form! Some forms of abuse leave visible scars, cuts, burns, broken bones, etc. Others leave internal scars. They are no less damaging, just because they can’t be seen. The internal scars impact the way people see themselves, and the way they walk through their world.

If you are in an abusive relationship, please know that there is help available. Abuse escalates over time. It often starts out with jealous or controlling behavior. After a time, you find that you have become isolated from your support system. It may not become physical, but if it does, it can progress to yelling and threats, pushing and shoving, and later to hitting, cutting, breaking bones, burning, raping, etc. Please check out the statistics by clicking on the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence Fact Sheet. If abuse is part of your life, or the life of someone close to you, don’t wait until it is too late to reach out for help.

It can be very dangerous to leave physically abusive relationships without the help and guidance of professionals. There is a National Domestic Violence Hotline available 24/7/365. The number is 1-800-799-SAFE(7233). They can assist you in finding local resources to help you formulate a plan for leaving safely, and then make sure that you have a protected shelter to go to.

Please educate yourself about domestic violence. If you are a victim of abuse, it could save your life. If you know someone else who is being abused, try to share information with them, when you can do it safely and confidentially. Often violence is part of an inter-generational pattern. You can stop it, so that it doesn’t get carried down to the next generation. Your children — all of our children — deserve better. No human being deserves abuse! Abusers often try to shift the blame to the person being abused. They will say,” If you had only done…” — Or — “If you hadn’t done… then I wouldn’t have had to get so angry!”

Abuse cuts across all social-cultural-economic lines! Drugs and alcohol often play a part, but not always. The domestic violence problem belongs to all of us. The solution lies in everyone having the awareness and the absolute conviction that abuse is never, ever, OK. There are no acceptable excuses for domestic violence! Love should never bring pain!

* (This is Part 1 of a series on Domestic Violence.)

Until next time,



  • This topic is so important and knowing what to do and how to respond is just as crucial. I would like to see more information on how to help someone without putting them in further danger. Good to keep this topic in the spotlight.

  • Thank you, Danielle. I will be writing more on this topic. You are very wise to be concerned about not putting someone “in further danger.” The risk can escalate tremendously when the abuser feels the relationship might be ending. It’s very important that the person being abused gets guidance from a professional about how to safely leave a violent relationship.


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