As a Santa Barbara therapist, I often find myself sitting across the room from clients who are so hard on themselves.  They have come to see me because they’re unhappy in some way.  They may be struggling with depression, anxiety, relationship issues, or a myriad of other “problems.”

Their issues may be situational, or in some way, bio-chemical.  They, also, may be the result of long-term emotional or physical abuse, or neglect — sometimes going way back to childhood.  There are so many different variables!

There’s one commonality that I see over and over again.  And that is their negative feeling about themselves.  Whatever has led them to this harsh view, the bottom line is that it’s taken time to create this negativity.  As the years have gone by, they’ve internalized harsh and hurtful, spoken and unspoken, messages.  As much as I wish that it was different, the truth is that healing a painful and distorted sense of self takes time and patience.

You know if you don’t feel good about yourself.  If you’re quick to pounce upon your missteps, lose patience with your efforts to change, or hold yourself to higher expectations than you would anyone else, please get help.  By gently and patiently rebuilding the way you relate to yourself, much of your life can change.

Sometimes we all need help and guidance!  I would love to be there for you, if you’re in the greater Santa Barbara area.  If not, seek help in your area.  It can be the start of a wonderful new sense of peacefulness and joy.  You deserve it!

Until next time,


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