As a therapist, I see clearly the value of therapy, but I realize not everyone does. It’s important to know that therapy isn’t only for those with serious mental illnesses. It has so much value for anyone who isn’t happy, doesn’t have inner peace, or is unsure how to create a better tomorrow. Therapy can … Read More
emotional pain
Another Devastating Tragedy for the Santa Barbara Area!
My last post was about the terrible fires we were having in our area. As the holidays rolled around, we thought that we were past the worst of it. And then came the predictions of a bad rainstorm, and the serious worry about mudslides in the burned areas. We again had mandatory and voluntary evacuations … Read More
An Unforgettable Holiday Season!
For any of you who live anywhere near Santa Barbara, you know that this has not been a typical holiday season. Early in December, what has become known as the Thomas Fire began. It started quite a distance from here, but quickly spread. In a matter of days, people from Santa Paula, to Ojai, to … Read More
Too Many Hearts Are Breaking Again!
I don’t understand what makes a human being want to create unspeakable violence towards others! Last night in Las Vegas, hundreds of people innocently went out to enjoy a country music festival. Nearby, in a hotel room on the 32nd floor, a man with an arsenal of weapons, began shooting toward the crowd, through a … Read More
Emotional Protection Can Be Too Pervasive
“When we protect ourselves so we won’t feel pain, that protection becomes like armor, like armor that imprisons the softness of the heart.” ~ Pema Chodron Please think carefully about this quote. It’s so important! Our defenses, up to a certain point, can help to protect us from harm. There comes a time, though, that … Read More
A Sense of Shame vs. Feeling Guilty
As a Santa Barbara Therapist, I’ve talked with many unhappy clients about feelings of guilt and shame. Both are very heavy burdens to carry. They limit our ability to create the lives that we crave. Guilt is a sense that we’ve done something specific that’s wrong. This can be easier to heal than shame. When … Read More