There are all kinds of addictions– some are to substances, some to behaviors, and some to situations.  One of the less obvious ones is the addiction to drama.  Some people just seem to almost constantly find themselves with “fires” that somehow need to be put out!

I’ve worked with many clients through the years, who have grown up in all kinds of chaotic family situations.  There’s a certain feeling of familiarity, and even comfort, that develops over time with constant upheaval and confusion.  They get to where they expect the unexpected!

Consistency and predictability are seldom a part of this kind of background.  My clients have learned from early childhood on, that it’s impossible to know what’s going to happen next.  They’ve gotten used to having many different types of crises on a regular basis.

What happens if someday the upheaval stops — when one day is pretty much the same as the day before it, and the day before that?  It can feel strange, and even unsettling, to someone who has little experience with a low-chaos lifestyle.  They may even begin to feel bored, or anxious — waiting for the next shoe to drop.  It’s what’s always happened!  Why wouldn’t it continue?

They know how to handle all types of adversity, but they aren’t used to things being too quiet, too calm, for an extended period of time.  For some people, what happens is that they start to unconsciously create drama — not necessarily major drama, but some type of stirring up of the tranquil waters of their lives.

They’re too close to what’s happening to recognize the pattern of what they’re doing.  That’s where therapy can be helpful.  When I sit with clients whose lives seem to be drama-filled, I listen carefully to their stories, ask the right questions, and help them begin to connect the dots.

An awareness of the dynamics at play, can give them the power to look at the choices they’re making.  It can help them to see their part in creating the current distress, whatever it is.  Change doesn’t happen overnight, but awareness can bring them the power to begin the process.

With drama comes a certain amount of excitement, an adrenaline rush.  Life isn’t boring!  There’s always something to focus on, to figure out, to be stimulated by.  But it also can cost dearly in elevated stress, lowered peace of mind, complicated life situations, unhealthy relationships, and emotional upheaval for loved ones.

If there seems to be constant turmoil in your life, give it some thought.  Could you be addicted to drama?  What will it ultimately cost you and your loved ones?  Help is available if you choose it!

Until next time,

Linda

 

8 Comments

    • I’m glad you like the post, Linda. Thank you for letting me know. I agree with you. Continued drama is very hard on everyone concerned! It takes its toll, sometimes subtly, but nevertheless true. There’s a cumulative impact.

      Linda Menesez

  • What a great, thought-provoking topic! In my field of work, I know that some people almost sabotage a good relationship just for the “excitement” of it. While a dull relationship isn’t always enjoyable, I wouldn’t recommend creating drama just to test the waters that your partner will to stick by your side through thick and thin. Great blog post, Linda. Thank you!

    • Thank you, Lisa! I appreciate your kind words. Relationships can be tricky. It’s possible for them to bring out the best in us — or the worst in us. We need to be very careful about our choice in who we share our lives with, and then we need to treat them in a way that honors both of us.

      Linda

  • Great article, Linda. I definitely know people like this! As for myself, while I can’t stand high drama, it does make me more aware of what other behaviors I may be addicted to myself…

    • Thank you, Teri! I think we all know people like this. Everyone has drama from time to time, but this article was directed to the people who have it in their life almost all the time. I wanted to help them recognize what might be happening, and empower them to gain insight about the changes that can be made. Thank you for commenting!

      Linda

  • What a great article! I have unfortunately come across far too many people that are addicted to drama. And while i understand that drama is essentially inevitable, i still try and do my best to avoid it. Hopefully more people with this issue can read this!!

    • Thank you so much for your kind words, Lynn! I think an awareness of the dynamics at play can help to create change. That’s why I wanted to write this post. I do my best to avoid drama too. I like my life peaceful and calm.

      Linda

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