It seems to be human nature for most of us to focus on what we don’t like about ourselves.  We so often see our weaknesses, but seem to be disconnected from the ability to see our strengths.

Everyone has strengths!  It’s our strengths that help us move forward, when life seems to be too prickly — too much coming too quickly.  Have you had times like that?

I’m guessing that everyone has had those times.  We’ve all experienced the “storms of life.”  Please don’t waste your time thinking about why these things happen.  They just do!  Think about what has helped you deal with these difficult times in the past.

Borrow someone else’s view of your good points, if you need to.  What have others noticed about you?  What have they admired about you?  Are you flexible, resourceful, able to ask for help?  Are you patient?  Do you have a sense of humor?  Are you able to see other points of view?  These are just a few of the strengths that I’ve noticed in my Santa Barbara clients.  They don’t often see them, but I do!

You will find life so much easier and more peaceful, if you begin to see your strengths.  Quiet your inner-critic.  Thank it for its attempts to help you, but move forward secure in the knowledge that you do have strengths.  Look for them.  I promise you they are there!

Until next time,



  • Seeing our strengths can be a real challenge, but you’re right, we all have them. Sometimes seeing yourself through others’ eyes can make a world of difference, as we are our own biggest critics.

    • It’s so true, Calla! I’ve quite a few times had clients try to see themselves through their friends’ eyes. It can be quite a moving experience.


    • Our inner critic is trying to help us by sending danger warnings and messages calling for us to be cautious, but they tend to keep us stuck and limit our growth potential, Amy.


  • I’ve definitely noticed that it’s difficult for people to talk about their strengths. Whether it’s too much modesty or a heavy focus on their weaknesses, it can be tough to get them to focus on their positives.

    • I agree, Lynn, and I think you’re right on both counts. People, particularly women, seem very uncomfortable verbally recognizing their good points. It, also, seems to be human nature, though, to have our focus be on the negatives about ourselves, which is really sad.


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