How do you think of yourself?  Do you see yourself in a positive or negative light?  What are the descriptive terms you use in your self-talk?  We paint a picture of ourselves with our thoughts, and those thoughts can be supportive — or terribly destructive.

It makes me sad when I sit in my  office, and listen to my Santa Barbara therapy clients talk about all of their shortcomings and imagined flaws.  There’s no kindness or gentleness in their descriptions.  I’m pretty sure they would never be so hard on anyone else!

When I tell them that I don’t see them that way, they look at me with surprise, and even disbelief.  I ask them where those old tapes came from, and often I hear that they’re things said by family members or friends.

Hearing such cruelty from a young age, and with enough repetition, leads to this negativity becoming internalized.  It is incorporated into our self-image.  It doesn’t matter whether the insults pertain to physical appearance, or personal character.  Negative messages create pain, and this pain then lives in our spirit.

Please become aware of your critical self-talk.  It colors how you see yourself.  It robs you of much of the confidence, and sense of security, that you need, in order to be all that you want to be.  Don’t continue to carry these old, destructive tapes around with you!  Don’t give others the power to keep harming you!

We all have wonderful qualities, if we only allow ourselves to see them!  We can choose to create new, empowering tapes, and images, from this day forward.  It’s a process of new growth, but very doable.  If you need some support and guidance in doing this, I’m here.

Until next time,


* Photo credit goes to Mary Lou Aukee

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