So many people want to stay with what’s familiar to them.  No matter how unsatisfying and even frustrating something might be, familiarity conveys a certain sense of safety for most of us.  As humans, staying with what we know can have an almost magnetic pull.  And the thought of stepping off that cliff, into the vast unknown, can send a chill of danger down the strongest spine!

Fear of change often keeps us stuck.  Sometimes we stay in unhappy, unhealthy relationships, or in jobs that are low-paying, with no chance of advancement, or in environments that we’ve long since outgrown.  When the discomfort and unhappiness become greater than our need to stay with what is familiar, though, we need to find a way forward.  We need to get unstuck.

How do we move forward when we’re afraid?  What might give us the courage we need?  We might not be ready to totally embrace change, but what could help us take that first step?

An important place to begin is to change our focus.  We need to start looking at all of the good things that could come from change.   What could our gains be?  We need to stay away from all the “what if’s!”  They will only weigh us down.

Then we need to develop a “road map.”  How can we go from where we are, to where we want to be?  We need a plan.  And we need to break it down into small, manageable steps.  At that point, we need to take that very first step!

The first step might be to begin building a sturdy foundation, “brick by brick.”  There are so many ways to do this.  We could begin to save money, or learn to how to write a resume, or take an online class.  Or we might start by exploring, or researching, possibilities.  What kinds of career opportunities are out there?  Where might we like to move?   What would a healthy relationship look like?

Sometimes, seeking out the services of a professional counselor can help us get prepared for change.  The guidance and support we receive, can help to strengthen us.  We don’t feel so alone.

It doesn’t really matter what we do.  The important thing is that we begin taking action to get unstuck.  Each step builds our confidence.  Each step removes some of the fear!

Change isn’t easy, but if we’re to grow and develop, it’s inevitable.    Check in with yourself, and see if there’s something in your life that needs to change.  And then take that first step!

Until next time,


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *