In one form or another, the idea that “I feel like a fraud” is something I’ve heard many times in my office through the years. My clients can be so hard on themselves! But it’s not just my clients. Feeling like we aren’t really who we pretend to be, is a feeling that we can all identify with, at least some of the time.
Whether we say it out loud, or merely think it, feeling like we’re “less” than others think we are, is a common theme. This can be felt in many ways. It can take the form of, “I’m not really who people think I am.“ Or, “If they only knew that I’m not as smart — or as good — or as strong, as they think I am, …!” These type of thoughts can lead us to hiding behind self-imposed masks, afraid to come out and show our true selves.
We can all be so full of self-judgment. We’re constantly finding fault with who, and what, we are. We don’t feel like we’re enough. I’m certainly not immune to this, and I don’t think anyone else is either.
Sometimes it’s others’ expectations of us which create some of the struggle. When we have a certain job title, or letters after our name, we can have too much expected of us. Of course, we can, also, expect too much of ourselves. None of us are on top of everything. None of us know everything there is to know, about anything. We’re human, and that’s okay. We need to give ourselves a break, whether others do or not.
We will feel so much more peaceful and content if we allow ourselves to be real! We can come out from behind our masks. We can make peace with not being perfect. It might be a process, but it’s doable. When we can fully accept who we are, we help others to do the same for themselves. That doesn’t mean that we want to stop growing, or developing. It just means that we accept being where we are at this point in time.
Are you with me on this? Be the real you! You don’t need to pretend to be anything else.
Until the next time,