There’s one commonality in many of the couples that I’ve worked with through the years, and that’s the tendency to make assumptions. I’ve heard so many say, “I just assumed …” Many times their joint patterns of making assumptions have created a lot of problems for them, and for their relationships!
An important part of emotional intimacy is learning how to communicate so that there’s a shared understanding between both people. Don’t just assume you know something. Check it out! When your partner is talking, do active listening. Ask questions to be sure that you have understood what’s been said. If you want or need something, say so. Don’t assume that your mind is being read!
I’ve been told about so many arguments that began when one person got mad at the other for not “knowing” what was wanted or needed. I’ve had both men and women say, if they really loved me, they would know. I shouldn’t have to tell them. But, that just isn’t true! You do need to say what you want. You, also, need to ask your partner to clarify things for you, to avoid misunderstandings.
I promise you that if you both stop making assumptions about the other, life will be much less complicated and frustrating!
Until next time,
Thank you for this post…it is a great reminder!
You’re welcome, Kristi! When I see a pattern of problems with my clients, it reminds me that others may also have this issue. I like to write posts that might be helpful to my readers.
Hopefully someone who reads your post will think back to it when they find themselves about to make an assumption. Good post, Linda!
Thank you, Lynn! I hope it will make enough of an impression to be brought to mind when someone needs it.
Well, it’s true about what they say when you assume, it’s right there in the word, you make an ASS out of U and ME. Communication is vital to a healthy and happy relationship, and assumptions really cut communication short.
Yes, Calla. That’s what they say! Good communication is vital for any kind of meaningful relationship. Thanks for commenting!