When two people begin to date, it’s important that they take time before moving into a more intimate closeness.  Whether that’s a physical or emotional intimacy, it should only be when they are both equally ready.

Emotional intimacy can sometimes create fear, depending on your background and current situation. Be sure that the person you’re becoming intimate with, has earned your trust. Go slowly and follow your intuition.  If there are any red flags, go even slower!

Never allow yourself to be bullied into sharing your vulnerabilities! Anyone worthy of your trust will give you the time you need to become comfortable with increasing closeness. It can be difficult to leave your comfort zone, but it can also be very worthwhile, when it’s done in small, very thoughtful steps, with the right person by your side.

If you’re being pressured to become physically intimate, and you don’t feel ready, say so — and say it very clearly and emphatically!  Your body belongs to you, and you have every right to decide how and when to share it with another.  (*See note below.)  Don’t let yourself get talked into anything that you may regret later.  Wait until you are sure that it’s what you want, when you are as ready as your partner for this special shared closeness.

Becoming emotionally, and then physically, intimate with someone should be a mutual decision.  No one should ever feel that it’s something they HAVE to do to hold on to a relationship.  If that’s the case, it isn’t a healthy relationship, and it’s best in the long run to let it go.

It’s important to stay true to yourself, and what feels comfortable to you.  If you need support and/or guidance, be sure and seek the help of a professional.  Take the time you need, and you’ll be happy you did!

Until next time,


* Note:  In this article, I’m speaking about feeling emotionally pressured into becoming sexual.  I’m not referring to being physically forced to have sex.  That is rape, and it’s a very different matter!


  • These are wonderful words to remember. It is so easy to get caught up in a new feeling of Love but keeping yourself grounded often breeds so much more longevity. Thank you for sharing!

    • Thank you, Kristi! You’re so right. It is easy to get caught up in the bloom of new love. Unfortunately, if that happens, we can make decisions that we might regret later. Sometimes people, particularly women, are aware that they aren’t ready to become intimate yet, but give in when pressured. I want to help them listen to their own intuition!


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