Many of the women I’ve seen in my office have missed the loving guidance they needed while growing up.  Their moms weren’t there for them, in the way they needed to be, and my clients have felt their absence deeply!  Important nurturing didn’t happen.  For a variety of reasons, their mothers just weren’t available, able, or willing.

Their stories vary.  Sometimes, they’ve lost their mothers through death.  Sometimes, it’s been because of a severe physical, emotional, or mental illness.  Other times, there have been addiction issues.  At times, it’s been because their moms didn’t get the mothering they needed.  They couldn’t give what they didn’t have.

Whatever the reason, my clients have had every right to grieve for what was lost, for the needs that were never met.  I help them to grieve, but after awhile, I start helping them to not get stuck in their grieving!

If you didn’t get the mothering you needed, look around for women who have qualities you admire.  What can you learn from them?  How might they guide and teach you?  Find ways to get to know them.  Let them learn to care for you.  In time, if you are open to receiving the gifts they have for you, these women can help you grow and blossom!

It’s never too late to soak in the mothering you’ve missed!  “Mothers” come in many disguises.  Learn to recognize and give thanks for them, wherever and whenever you find them!

Until next time,

Linda

4 Comments

  • Hi Linda, Thanks for helping women open up to the mothering that they have missed and find it in new places! So often if we have missed important aspects of our childhood we find ourselves shut down to opportunities in the future. By your providing the support for someone to have the courage to revisit it is so important and changes lives and future generations.
    Appreciatively,
    Lynn

  • Thank you so much, Lynn! I’m glad that you felt the post — and the work has value. My life was impacted by an absence of mothering too, so I have a personal as well as a professional interest in it. I’ve always instinctively looked for mentors, and have gained so much from them. I see my clients gaining too, as they step out of their sadness. I plan to write more about this as time goes by.

    Thank you again,

    Linda

  • Hello Linda,
    The moment I saw your post I was drawn to it! I have stories to tell about my mother who was a multilevel non-Mom to me. I loved this post because as a young girl I followed your advice and community of “mothers” who were lovely to me.

    Thanks for the post, and I’ll tell you my “Little Ditty” about the name LINDA the next time we meet.
    Keep on keeping on!
    Fondly,
    Linda Havlik

    • Thank you, Linda, for sharing your experience with us! I’m really glad that this post spoke to you personally. That’s always my goal — to write in a way that people can feel a connection to what I’ve written.

      I’m sorry you didn’t have the mothering you deserved, but I am very happy to hear that you reached out as a young girl, and built your own “community of mothers!”

      That’s a passion for me! I want to help others find the “mothering” they need. Women are wonderful about sharing their love, caring, and experience with other women. The connection just needs to be started by someone.

      Thank you again, Linda. I’ll look forward to hearing your “Little Ditty” about our name!

      Take good care,

      Linda

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