There is no best way to grieve.  Each person is different, and what feels right for one, may not be right for another.  The wisest way is to follow your heart.  Honor your loss with your heart’s whispered guidance.  Learn to listen carefully, so that it doesn’t have to shout its message.

There are all types of losses, but the grief that I’m talking about is the grief we feel when we lose someone we care for deeply.   Depending on your personality, and the way you have learned to cope with difficult struggles in the past, this emotional pain can be expressed in various ways.  Just as we don’t want to be judged, it’s important that we don’t judge others.  Grief is a uniquely individual reaction to loss.

Last week, I wrote about a personal experience I’ve had recently with losing someone.  Since then, I’ve talked with several people who knew Jenny, and were filled with sorrow over her sudden, and unexpected death.  They all were struggling to understand and come to terms with the loss.  The commonality was that they each cared deeply for her, and they were each feeling so sad.  I felt honored to be one of the people they reached out to for comfort and support.

Grief is a personal journey.  Each person must find their own path, but it doesn’t have to be a path we walk alone.  We can join hands and hearts with others who are warm, caring, and non-judgmental.  The journey takes time.  It takes as long as we need it to take.  The important thing is to begin the journey.  There may be detours, and unexpected twists and turns along the way.  The path may become bumpy and hard to navigate, but we need to continue.

There will come a day when we somehow know that we’ve reached our destination.  Our memories of the people we’ve grieved will bring us comfort and joy, rather than pain and sorrow.  We will learn to celebrate their lives, rather than continue to mourn their deaths.  Our hearts will then find peace.  At that point, we can, for the most part, put our grief away.   We won’t forget the people that we’ve mourned, but we won’t have to continue feeling sad and troubled.  We will have learned another lesson in how fleeting life can be, and how we need to honor those we’ve lost by cherishing each day with those we still have.

Until the next time,

Linda

4 Comments

  • Thank you for the reassuring post. Grief is so consuming and something we aren’t taught. Sometimes, I’ve wondered if I should be grieving more or grieving less (I barely knew the person or for a pet, etc.). Actually, some of my most painful losses have been the loss of a family pet. Oftentimes non-animal people have no clue how devastating the loss of a furry family member can be.

    • Amy, thank you for your comment. I’ve worked with quite a few people who have struggled with grief, and it’s so important that they give themselves permission to grieve in the way that feels right to them. I understand what you’re saying about grieving for pets. They can be such a big part of our lives, and leave a profound sense of loss when they die.

      Linda

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